Where we live

Let me give a brief review of where I live. I have a two-story studio apartment. It is a loft style “treehouse” of sorts.  The upstairs loft is like a tree house. It’s all wooden. It has lent the opportunity for the Magic Tree house series books that we read to feel a little more real. The upstairs bedroom is air conditioned at night, which is nice. It is such a huge luxury to feel cold in Haiti! We have no air conditioning from 6 am until 6 pm, but we do have fans and we use them! We have a tv downstairs, and in September we were upgraded to the luxury of a few cable channels and a new refrigerator that actually keeps our groceries cold!!! That was an awesome surprise. We get a wifi signal if we stand at the top of the stairway by the brick window, which faces the pool. But otherwise we’re unable to use the net inside the apartment and have to spend time outside if we need to do batch uploads of photos or download anything.  On a rare occasion we have a strong enough signal to watch a movie on Netflix, but it is usually interrupted several times for buffering and most of the time we lose the signal completely. We have watched every single DVD that we own at least six times. And the kids play their Nintendo DS’s a lot! We have lots of paints and crafts, but lets face it, there’s only so much time that can be spent doing the same thing over and over.  At night we hear gunshots. I assume it’s the security guard. Most of the time it’s just one warning shot, but other times there are several shots that make me wonder what the heck is going on in the twenty feet or so between my apartment and the alley behind us. I have no faith in the measly doorknob lock that is the only source of added security that keeps anyone from entering my apartment. If you can make it over the barbed wire wall, then you can certainly make it into my apartment.

Our apartment is on the end of a building, so we have an extra “window” which is actually just open brick with a screen. It makes for a rather exposed feeling and everything outside can be heard inside. Everything inside can be heard outside. And when the tape that holds the screen on the brick loses its stick, we share our happy little home with just about every Haitian creature imaginable.  I have lizards in my kitchen, mosquitos in my shower, in my room, in my kitchen, and even in my closet. I kill cockroaches, ants, termites, and millipedes regularly. The ants really like our beds. That’s less than awesome. The creepy crawly feeling should never be ignored. Just when you think it’s a whispy piece of hair, you find out that it’s actually an ant crawling on your forehead. Not awesome. We have all been bitten by different types of bugs. Luckily we haven’t had serious bites that have required antibiotics. I’m very thankful for that.  We have seen tarantulas here. Fortunately, I’ve never seen one inside my apartment. I am nervous that at some point one of the boys will lift one of the pool floaties up and find a surprise waiting for him.  Hopefully that will not happen. I’m not sure any one of the three of us will handle that well.

It has been interesting to see the pile of goodies that I’ve brought through the past two and a half years pile up and get some serious love and then find their way to Haiti trash heaven. I’ve brought big wheels and tricycles and floaties and all kinds of toys. We have certainly seen a fair share used by missionaries who think they can surf on our inflatable crocodiles. It’s funny for about five minutes and then one pops and everyone realizes that there is no Target right down the street to find another one at. So thanks, if you’re one of those missionaries. Please consider bringing a replacement with you next time. We all try to pay it forward here and would like to have a stack of toys to pull from that aren’t completely destroyed by someone who doesn’t take the time to think about how a fun inflatable toy for a child got here before you shredded it gnarly style in the deep end of the pool and then threw it’s limp carcass away afterward. And speaking of the pool, there are two open suction areas. One at the bottom that is begging to swallow a small toddler, and one on the side of the pool that is powerful enough to suck out your intestines. There are no caps. But that’s ok because even though the owners of this hotel know what little means it would take to make the pool safe, we’re in Haiti. So that doesn’t matter. Everyone should just swim at their own risk. But don’t be too loud when you play outside. Especially if you are a brown Haitian child. Because the white kids and the countless skeezy drunk old contractor men can be as obnoxious as they would like to be, but if you’re brown you will be chastised and asked to get out of the pool. We have had a couple of slumber parties with our cousins, and despite the many people who come stay here and have loud drunken parties by the pool, we have been chastised by the owner and asked not to swim several times.

In addition to the waves of horny contractors who raise their eyebrows and beers and ask me to join them at the bar, I have a steady flow of people who request my help and ask for money from me at the front gate.  Even the staff. Though I am fond of them and know that they are crazy awesome and significantly underpaid. It’s just really hard to constantly receive requests for things and money and help and yeah…everything.

I live above the bar and have put some decent thought into the idea of rigging a pully system with a bucket so that the bar tender can send up some rhum punch nightly. The rhum punch has been a lifesaver so many times. I usually drink it on the dreaded “drop off night” of each of my visits. However, I’ve taken to having one here and there when the shit really hits the fan and I’m in need of some good numbing medication.

I only get two very thin towels, but at least they’re washed and are fresh daily. I leave $2 a day for the cleaning staff and plan to leave most of the household goods with them when I can finally leave to go home. They are lovely people who check in on me frequently and hope to see me take the kids home. They were very happy to see us receive passports. And they give me a knowing look when I walk into the bar and ask for a rhum punch.