The New Law

Long awaiting change in this process has essentially backfired on me. We lost V’s referral in February because Haiti is implementing the Hague Treaty and is consequently changing the process of how a child is referred and matched with an adoptive family. Since our file was not submitted to the government prior to their closure prior to making these changes, our referral was negated. We have been waiting since February to hear any word on how the bill slowly followed the Haitian legal process. It had to be voted on in several courts, and then it had to be signed by the president and published before it would be considered legitimate.

We had heard several things about this law. The most encouraging elements that we looked forward to were that there would likely no longer be a requirement for presidential dispensation. It was also likely to lower the legal age for adoptions as well as allow for couples married for a shorter period of time, to start the process of adoptions from Haiti.

One way that this new law will essentially punish families like my own is that it requires that families no longer have any interaction with their children or the crèche they live in prior to the match. It is unclear at this point if families will be allowed interaction at all, even after the match has taken place.

As of yesterday, I was joyful with the news that the law has been published. This was good news initially, because we know that once our file receives approval and our expected re-match with V takes place, that we will likely emerge fairly soon from IBESR, instead of remaining in the system waiting for dispensation. Our hope was that our family and others would save time in this process and ultimately would be granted more time with their children.

As of this morning, the director of our orphanage met with me to explain that I will no longer be allowed at the orphanage.  I will not be able to spend any time with our daughter until at least our re-match takes place, and possibly even longer than that. I can’t say that I’m surprised. I just wish that I had known that the last time I spent time with her. I would have given her more love, more kisses, and more time. I would have worried less about the crafts I was making for other children and I would have focused more on the time I could spend with her. I’ve tried so hard for the couple of months that I’ve been here to spend time with her, but also try to keep her schedule balanced. But right now all I want is for her to be with me. And I’m feeling the gaping hole that has been in my heart since February grow even bigger and deeper.

All I can do now is hope that things will turn out ok. I will be even more impatient now knowing that I can’t even spend time with her. I’m comforted by knowing how loved she is. But I hate that I didn’t have the opportunity to let her know how much I love her before I had to leave her again.

so there was a pathetic facebook post from me related to this heartbreaking turn of events and it went something like this:

there is a new adoption law that has been passed in haiti. it was printed yesterday, which means that it is fully in effect.

while this law is hopefully going to help thousands of children who are stuck in the process of adoption, as well as aid thousands of families who are in process; it has caused yet another set back for our family.

by law i am no longer allowed at our orphanage. i can not see v for an unknown period of time.

if you are traveling to our orphanage, please give my sweet girl all my love and tell her that the minute the chains of this process unbind us, i will whisk her away before she can exhale.

(insert heart emoticon here).