2014. Morning one of the new year. I had just
kissed the boys goodnight after welcoming them to the year they would finally
go home, and we were waking already. As tired as I was, after a few blinks and
a radical adjustment to the light of Haiti pouring into the windows, I woke up
to the sound of children laughing. Playing. Singing. This is the sound of Hope House.
I recently saw an idea that I’m implementing for
this year. I am planning to write one thing each day that I am thankful for.
And today I am thankful that I started the year in the company of beautiful people
who have given themselves to Haiti and her people. And because of this family,
I woke to the beautiful sound of happy children. They are happy. They are
loved. They are living. Not just existing. They are living and thriving because
they are being cared for properly and responsibly. They live in a home. They play with toys. They receive love
and continual interaction. They play house, and they play kitchen, and they
count, and they run, and they swing. They even stage their own big wheel Indy
500 around the play yard. THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.
Every orphanage is a temporary solution for a
horrific injustice a child is caught in the middle of. It’s not their choice.
Their reality is the that of cause and effect. Their time spent in this limbo
should be designed to not only meet their needs, but to keep them happy and
allow them to thrive spiritually, mentally, healthily, socially and lovingly.
I’ve only begun to scratch the surface here in
Haiti. But from what I’ve seen thus far, I have been horrified by the living
conditions of most of the children I’ve met. I wouldn’t keep an animal in the
room my boys lived in. I might store a rake or a shovel. A lawn mower and a can
of gasoline would be fine too. But never children. From what I’ve seen, due to
the vast need for care, orphanages take in many more children than they can
support responsibly. And the burden on the system drives the demand for more
donations, and more funding that is simply not always available. The demand
also weakens the already struggling infrastructure and rapidly diminishes the
delivery of accurate and responsibly timed adoption processing.
Due to the inherent struggles of catering to the
needs of over one hundred children, our kids experienced little more than their
basic needs being met. In the many days that I’ve spent at our orphanage, I
rarely saw games being played, artwork being done, songs being sung by the
children, outdoor play including toys or equipment other than a sparsely used
playground apparatus. I rarely saw toys at all. Even soft and plush toys, or
sensory toys for the children who aren’t mobile. It was explained to me that the 180 dolls I made and brought
to Haiti on our first trip were “loved to death” within a month to two of
bringing them. It was later further explained to me that the children ripped
them apart, threw them on the roof, and well…destroyed them. Why? They were so
pleased with the gifts; and I felt so fulfilled knowing that they could all
choose from the large bags when we offered them two a piece. As I made my way around the orphanage I
was startled by the conditions my sweet little boy called home. And in those
moments I was so happy that I was bringing joy. I was giving them a possession.
They had no personal items, other than possibly their toothbrushes. But these
dolls were theirs. They got to choose them and keep them. That was the plan
anyway. They had something of their own. To play with. To love. To hold. To hug. To cry into. To laugh
with. Theirs. Why did they destroy them? Because the nannies were outnumbered
at least 6 to 1. There was no one to stop the madness of their fighting and
jealousies over who had which doll. There was nowhere to keep the treasures
that I had given them. And like much of the other donations brought to our
orphanage, they were eventually destroyed, thrown away, hidden, or possibly
given to other people.
In addition to dolls I brought, I’ve delivered
ride on toys, Little Tikes building sets, Barbies, Legos, foam blocks, musical
instruments, sensory toys, laptops and learning programs, shoes and clothing,
food, baby baths, portable cribs, bouncy seats, Bumbo seats, blankets, school
supplies, art supplies, medical supplies, toiletries, formula, diapers, wipes,
medications, storage containers, utensils and cups, and gifts for children from
their parents. And though I’ve seen some of the items that I’ve brought used,
the vast majority disappeared. I have found that our financial donations seem
to evaporate as well. To be fair – the laptops are being used by the director
of the orphanages family. Just to clear up where those disappeared to. Instead
of being used by the kids in the school as planned…well, they’re being used by
kids. His kids. His daughters wear my daughter’s hand me down’s. The clothing
that doesn’t require zipping, buttoning, clasping, or tying. The perfect
orphanage clothing that will require little mending to be comfortable. But I
guess those donations were considered too nice to be worn by the children who
run and play among the cement and dirt and rocks. Those clothes were saved for
the children who live in a home. With their loving parents. Kids who go to school. Who play
with toys. Who must have needed this clothing much more than the children at
our orphanage who wear clothing that is torn and falls off of them. Surely
there is an explanation for everything, right?
I am tired of the waste. Our children’s lives.
Our time. Our money. Our efforts. Our donations. Our patience. I’m tired of
wasting it all. I have seen so much waste. The time wasted alone
is catastrophic and overwhelming to think about. I have seen wasted efforts. I have seen the
clothing and shoes I brought for my son on the staff. I have been asked to buy
new shoes for my children knowing that the last pairs of new shoes I brought
were never used for my children. I've been told that the $300 we pay per month for our children is not enough. I've been told that what we have brought is not enough. I have been told that the items I have donated
that I’ve witnessed elsewhere were bound to be destroyed by the children at our
orphanage so they were taken elsewhere to be used by others. But that I needed to bring more.
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people
quote the bible and refer to orphans in Haiti as “the least of these”. My children and their friends are the
least of nothing. They are humans. They deserve love and compassion. They
deserve a proper and ethical and responsible and legal process. They have a
family. And they deserve to come home. And while they’re STUCK, they deserve to
be treated like humans. How do we expect children to behave like appropriate
and honorable and trusting and loving humans when they are treated like animals
or worse? They deserve better. They shouldn’t be corralled and treated like a
meal ticket with a number. They shouldn't be caged by being tied into a crib to limit their play time because there aren't enough people to watch over them. They shouldn't be tied down when they're sick because the staff is so limited that they can't keep an eye on a child hooked up to an I.V. I hope that my daughter doesn't remember being tied down, because sadly, she is so use to it that I have gotten photos of her smiling while all four of her limbs are tied to the sides of a crib. Smiling. Because this is normal and she is coping.
What I know now is that my instincts were dead
on from day one. IT SHOULD NOT BE DONE THIS WAY. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE LIKE
THIS. IT SHOULD NEVER BE LIKE THIS. OUR CHILDREN DESERVE BETTER.
I’ve seen HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE. It’s
obtainable, reasonable, and possible to properly, ethically, responsibly, and
lovingly run an orphanage where children live happily, without abuse, with
comfort, with toys, with education, with love, with faith, with promise, and
with hope.
It’s called HOPE HOUSE. Hope House is the orphanage
for The Haiti Foundation Against Poverty. That may be a recognizable name,
because they’ve earned their reputation for doing an amazing job with several
different programs here in Haiti. They have a school as well as a clinic, to
name a few of their projects. And their orphanage is considered a pillar and
example of how things should be done here in Haiti. It is small and very new,
but in the year since they opened their doors to adoptions, they have sent 1/3
of the children they love – HOME. Of the children who entered IBESR (Haitian
social services) last year when V should have been submitted, every single one
of them went home in November 2012. Children submitted in that time frame from
our orphanage are still in Haiti waiting for documents that should have been
obtained months ago. The Hope House children are with their loving families.
They have been delivered from their home here in Haiti to their forever
families in the states. Even with this being their first crack at adoptions;
still getting their feet wet in the process, and still establishing their
street cred here in Haiti, they have accomplished getting more children home in
their first year than our orphanage sent home in the span of January 2010 and
November of 2012. That’s quite an accomplishment. How? How have they been able
to do this? Because they do not seek their bread and butter from running their
orphanage. They run their orphanage compassionately and responsibly with the
sole goal of uniting the children with their forever families. They seek no
delays. They properly deal with all complications. They are honest. They are punctual. And
they are committed to ensuring that the children have true advocacy. There is
no time buffered in their process. They work diligently for the children and
their families. But while they are housing the children, and beyond, these
children are their family. Considering that for the first two three years that my youngest son lived in our
orphanage the director didn’t know his name, I would guess that five years from
now our director may know little about my boys other than the fact that he
found their mom to be a colossal pain in his ass. But the loving family at Hope
House will not only be acutely aware of the uniqueness of every single child
they housed, but they will know and love every single one of their families and
continue to remain an active part of their lives.
THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.
Hope House is not the only place in Haiti doing
adoptions responsibly, professionally, legally, ethically, and lovingly; but
they have my respect and I am loving them for doing it the right way! Please
read about the amazing ways they spread love and give Haiti hope!
If you have bought a “Hearts for Haiti” painting
from me then you now know where your money has been sent. The campaign will
continue once I return home and can get back to painting. Thank you for your
participation. If you’re interested in purchasing a custom Heart painting to
benefit the children of Hope House and The Haiti Foundation Against Poverty,
please feel free to send me a message and I’ll be in touch.
Heart paintings (better photos) can be seen
on FB:
Or you can view really outdated (and poor)
photos of heart paintings on my website, which is in dire need of a
serious facelift here:
Thank you to Hope House for providing me a refreshing view of the amazing work you do here in Haiti. Thank you for loving Haiti and her people. Thank you for setting the example of HOW IT SHOULD BE.
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